So it dawns.
With a renewed effort. Renewed energy.
I hope this time I will be able to make it.
That is the promise that I had made to myself. Let me see how it is going to go. I am going to see how best I can do it for myself and see how best the time would help me in deciding it for myself and do the task that seems impossible for me at least in teh current scenario.
Why write daily?
As a sense of accomplishment
More importantly, it is a big therapeutic process. I had known it too well but not to engage in it. I had to do it. I have to do it. I havea no other choide.
Let me see how it going to go!
I have timed myself to write for another 15 minutes. To let it go. I have to thingk of what I can write about it and see how I can do well with it.
On one side there is a sudden failure of not seeing my oninons grow, though I find that I am able to see plants/ seedling blossom from the seeds sown before. I also now have more work coming for GC, but not without the resistance for me to not to do it. I seem to be at lost. I have to decide on what I should be doing and what I cannot be doing. But I seem to have varied interests and varied ways to see the goal not being attainable, more importantly not being likeable to my temparament.
I should use this.
It’s not about resistance, but simply I have too many interests to pursue for the too short of time I already have. I should do it as much as I can.
Various interests. It’s a paradox of choice that I seem to inheret from the new brave world. Its both a blessing and a curse — we all know it.
How to over come it? Multipotentialite is an idea that gives solace or an escape to be being jumping from one interest to another.
I want to write such emotional pieces, but the not-for-profits, but to help the many poor people around the globe. I should also be doing wonderful stuff that brings out the best of the best in me. That harnesses my creative energy and potential and make it happen as it may come.
I find the peace of working-at-home, the warmth of the family — my little daughter’s play cry, my wife’s love all in this moment. But I also feel I am not able to do justice to my professional work.
To do hard deep work, where I can produce greater monuments and greater wonders.
But what is that professional is a big question mark?
I am hobbyist gardener. I want to see that I can grow my own food. That is something I think I can accomplish given the initial successes I am facing. As long as I don’t miss out the routine of watering the plants with my little girl. Everything is fine with that.
I am also a writer — where I pour out my emotions out right (this is an example) to help my readers!? Nah! to help myself to cleanse myself, to purify myself of the emotional baggage I always seem to carry. If it helps the other person, I am happy. But it’s okay as long as it serves my motivation to ‘create’, to ‘produce’, as an outlet for my creativity.
I got 5 more minutes.
I am doing what else. I read about Hay House Reid Taylor talk about how the only intention that Louise Hay worked with is to help people — to make them believe in one fundamental idea. ‘Thoughts make our lives’.
I think that it is a wonderfully possible idea.
I want this thought to dominate me. That I can change my life with my thoughts. I can accomplish anything if I can harness my thoughts. I can make magic happen with my thoughts. That’s where the beginning is. Thoughts are our seeds.
And more importantly, it is in the serving that I will automatically make money with no need of chasing it. I know the sustainable living is possible and there is a Third Wave coming that will change the way the world is working and happening.
What else then I need? Nothing actually.
The belief that I can use my talents to contribute to the larger world for the greater cause. I think that is very much a possibility.
I want to be this writer who brings hope to the millions of people. I want to study great literature and decipher it and led people gain the ‘profound insight’ I gained in the process. I want to share this tremendous knowledge I have with the world around. In the process, help many and lot of people. It should be possible.
I like Dr.Wayne D.Dyer. He is my inspiration. I like every written words he has written in a wonderful poetry. It’s almost magical. He is one of the saintly Americans I can every think of. His idea is to that to help others, to help people around through his writing.
Give yourself permission to fail
It didn’t last longer. My enthusiasm to write daily.
You are now created it.
I should be doing it very moment, but you know things change as they can adn will be as it is should be. I was living it in a never ending way.