I need to write. I need to do some original work. The idea is to write every day for an extended period of time, whether I like it or not.
I’m writing here, and things are getting real here. I’m not exactly sure how this would turn out. But I need to try. I don’t have an option.
So here I am. Writing in long form. An essay, using a pen and paper. It feels real & authentic.
“All the very best for your writing and finding your muse and enjoying your life.” says a mentor in her email.
I found the muse. I need to fight the Resistance (h/t Steven Pressfield). I could write like this every day and publishing as a blog.
That’s commitment. That’s dedication. That’s what would turn you into Pro.
The starting, day one is a good day. Day 2 goes smoothly. Maybe day three, I feel inspired. But on day four, I fumble. I let go. I said it doesn’t work.
I think there must be a better way. There must be a better technique. So I go in search of it. I go explore it research it. What a pity.
I am desperate, that desperate.
I need to make money. I need the money. I want the fame, the thirst is unclenching gardening and ever growing. I seem to be obsessed. I seem to be addicted. But I need to remain detached.
To be a pro is to think like an artist and work like an accountant.
I have committed to write for one pomodoro. The clock is ticking. Accounting in process.
“To write is to sit at your typewriter and bleed” ~ Ernest Hemingway says.
I’m bleeding now.
Can I publish this? Can I publish this deeply personal moving story on the public? Would anyone read? More importantly, what if someone reads and gets annoyed? Should I get deeply personal or be superfluous and unattached? Is un-attachment, even possible for the writers mind like me?
Inspiration doesn’t follow a routine. Creativity doesn’t work on demand. It’s not clockwork. A pro knows this. Pro knows that inspiration will come, if they start.
“You need to need it in the midway. But I have to take the first step towards it. It doesn’t work the other way around.”
What a terrible way of nature.
Scott Adams schedules his creativity — the process of drawing his creations (Dilbert comics), or writing his book. Clockwork. I wish I can do that possible. I can only pray!
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Originally published at http://sathyanand.wordpress.com on June 27, 2020.
